You've Been Shitted On Episode 2

Jay Davis and Friends Presents a Night of Comedy & Music

 CHECK OUT SOME OF THE TALENTED ARTIST THAT IS ABOUT TO SET THE STAGE ON FIRE JUNE 16TH

CORIZ THE WRITA

@coriz1

Owner of Coriz TheWrita Music Publishing LLC Registered with ASCAP
Raised on the North side of Chicago with a Brooklyn upbringing, Coriz is a innovative singer/songwriter colliding the sound of neo-soul, R&B and Hip Hop in a collaborative form. She brings to you a classy sex appeal that is sure to capture any audience and tantilize you with her textured unique voice. Her uniqueness combines the art of rap, singing and songwriting in a patterned unique form. Her voice has been compared to Fantasia, Macy Gray and Lil Mo. Her influences are Baby face, Lauryn Hill, Faith Evans, Nas, and Jay-z.
At the age of 5, Coriz began her journey in writing music. She has composed for some of the biggest names in the music industry and has ghost written up until the age of 22. Some of her catalogue includes Lupe Fiasco, KATO, Paperboy, Bump J, Bo Deal, Sidney Star, and Yung Rell. She started completing her own projects at the age of 19 and currently has a album EP coming this summer called “InEvitable. Coriz graduated from Lincoln Park High School on the North Side of Chicago majoring in Dance and then Chorus. She recently graduated in May 2011 from Columbia College Chicago to advance her skills in the Music Business and has minored in Fashion.

CHECK OUT SOME OF HER MUSIC

GET HER LATEST SINGLE SWEET MEDICATION AT

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/sweet-medication-single/id526468734

DAVE PRACYSE

@DavePracyse

With the music industry ever growing, Dave Pracyse stands out like a diamond in the rough. He first made his solo introduction with "Flight School Vol. 1" which went on to be an instant favorite to many in 2007 due to the success of its lead single "“Main Event"” produced by the Sound Schemez.

Since then, Dave has released an second installment of his "Flight School" series (Flight School Vol. 2:– When It Reigns It Pours) along with the release of his single "“How I Feel"” featuring and produced by Kajun (producer of Sex Room for Ludacris ft. Trey Songz). "‘How I Feel"” gave Dave’'s fans an opportunity to see just how diverse he could be as an artist, and also give people a glimpse of what was to come. "“How I Feel"” had been picked up by DJ’s across the country and had been strongly supported by DJ coalitions like the Core DJs and the Coast 2 Coast DJs.

In the winter of 2010, Dave released his street album "The Untouchables" with one of MTV’'s Top 5 DJ’s of 2010, Bigga Rankin, which instantly became a success! The lead single "“Boss N****"” produced by Harvy Allbangers is being regarded as one of the top independent singles of the year. In February of 2011 Dave received an "Independent Artist Of The Year" nomination from the Duval Diamond Awards committee. With all that has gone on in Dave’s young career, it'’s only just the beginning. Dave is currently working on the sequel to his successful "Untouchables" project. "The Untouchables 2", which will also be hosted by Bigga Rankin drops 1st quarter 2012 will lead off with the new single “"Talk of the Town",” which features R&B songstress, Syleena Johnson and is produced by, Wiz Khalifa’'s in house producer, Johnny Juliano. Dave vows this project will be sure to leave his fans, newcomers, and all critics alike speechless!

CHECK OUT SOME OF HIS MUSIC

GET HIS LATEST SINGLE TALK OF THE TOWN AT

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/dave-pracyse/id480181050

J.HOLLINS

@JHollins

A Chicago native, J. Hollins is highly respected amongst his peers for his ability to masterfully fuse the traditions of rock, gospel, funk, hip-hop, blues, and soul, all while keeping his lyrics fresh and reflective. He has worked with a number of industry heavyweights including, Grammy award-winning singer Mary J. Blige and Grammy-nominated producer Chucky Thompson. After much success in the UK as a writer,J. Hollins stepped away from a lucrative deal with a major recording company to release his first full-length solo album, The Chronicles, in 2005.

Despite the album not reaching mainstream success, J.Hollins captured a faithful audience that resulted in unbelievable sales for an indie artist. In 2010, he released his second album, The Soul Renaissance LP. The album produced a number of radio hits, including Toast and the international smash Because of You. His third album, aka Casanova Black, was released on October 18, 2011.

CHECK OUT SOME OF HIS MUSIC

GET ALL OF HIS ALBUMS ON ITUNES

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/j.hollins/id411216378

Marvin M-Dubs Phipps

@mdubsisabeast

Check out a clip from the hilarious M-Dubs

for Bookings marvinphipps@gmail.com

JAY DAVIS

@jaydavistp

You know people with multiple personalities, with Jay Davis you just have to choose one. Jay is a writer, producer, director, actor, comedian, and radio personality from Bellwood, Il. Constructing Jay Davis Productions was not a hard task for this one man band, furthermore he has implemented all of his talents and put them into action.

Jay has been writing for 4 years in the movie industry. His first work of recognition started with the MisAdventures of J Davis Episodes 1-10 and due to an amazing web presence Jay was forced to release the episodes on DVD in August 2010. By November 2010 Jay had already started his next venture and first feature film based of the web series, The Misadventures of J Davis Presents: The Hostile Takeover, which premiered at the Portage Theater in Chicago April 23, 2011. Over 500 people were in attendance for the premiere of this funny but well thought out movie about being at the wrong place at the wrong time, but not so simply put. The movie lead to a distribution deal with SGL Entertainment in 2011.

 Jay also hosts a radio show on Saturdays which is also a branch off of his brand (Team Pervert) and also a collective of Chicago's hottest talent, models, and comedians. He has interviewed acts such as: Coriz TheWrita, Trey Da Choklit Jok (WGCI), Jay Hollins, Jamiss, John Blu (Jive recording artist), LEP Bogus Boys, J-Lyn, Tre Azzure, Sidney Star, Shawn Morgan, King Louie, and many more. The list holds credibility amongst his peers.

GET YOUR COPY OF THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER FROM

http://www.amazon.com/MisAdventures-Davis-Presents-Hostile-Takeover/dp/B0046E31IY

Child Stars Who Fell The Fuck Off

Jaimee Foxworth 

Remember lil Judy Winslow from Family Matters?  She walked upstairs and never came back down.  When acting roles became scarce, Jaimee turned to porn to make ends meat. She appeared in approximately nine adult films over 2 years under the name  CRAVE

CLICK THE LINK TO SEE CRAVE TAKING SHOTS TO THE FACE.

Check out Lil Judy getting rammed

Todd Bridges

Another troubled “Diff’rent Strokes” alum, Bridges portrayed Willis Drummond on the show. His legal troubles began in 1983 when he was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon. He was arrested again in 1987 for making a bomb threat against a car dealership and in 1989 for pulling a gun on his mechanic during a dispute over a bill. Bridges faced his most serious charge in 1989 when he was tried for attempted murder after allegedly shooting a crack dealer eight times during a cocaine binge. He was acquitted thanks to high-profile defense attorney Johnnie Cochran, later part of O.J. Simpson’s famed “Dream Team.” Bridges was arrested again in 1997 for assault and battery after ramming a friend’s car following an argument, but was acquitted once more. 

Danny Bonaduce

The former “Partridge Family” star fell on hard times after the series ended, at one point living out of his car. He was twice arrested for cocaine possession, in 1985 and 1990. Bonaduce later admitted that he was so addicted to crack that he got serious burns on his fingers and lips because he wouldn’t wait for the pipe to cool down before smoking it. In 1991, he was arrested for assault and battery for beating up a transvestite hooker. 

IS THIS MUTHAFUCKA RELATED TO CARROT TOP

 The Corey's

The Coreys were two actors, popular in the 1980s, Corey Feldman (born 1971) and Corey Haim (1971–2010). Born in the same year, the two young actors appeared in many films together, most notably a number of successful teen-oriented films in the late 1980s. Feldman starred in Gremlins, The Goonies, and Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter while Haim starred in Silver Bullet and Lucas before the duo were paired for the first time in 1987's The Lost Boys.
Becoming a brand, The Two Coreys achieved mainstream fame and notoriety as teen idols, but each later experienced a public downfall due to drug use. 

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE COCAINE AND MOLESTATION IN YOUR LIFE #fuckfame

CHECK OUT THE 2nd TRAILER TO SHOTS FIRED

NBA ALL-TIME UGLY 1ST TEAM

PATRICK EWING (C)

Kicking things off at center number 33 Patrick Ewing.  This ugly summabitch fucked up my television screen for 17 seasons.  He looked like he was pissed off 95% of his career. 

ANTHONY MASON (F)

I know what you are thinking.  The Knicks was the perfect time to play for if you were an ugly muthafuckas.  He looks like he could be the son of that dude from Menace II Society....."You know you fucked up right. don't believe me?  See for yourself.

"So you brought the bottle of beer at...."

TYRONE HILL (F)

I'm sure Tyrone still pays top dollar for pussy. This man looks like he was pistol whipped as an infant.  S/O to the Crypt Keeper.

SAM CASSELL (G)



This man was the Poster Child for Ugly in the NBA.  I would not wish this man's looks on my worst enemy.

DELONTE WEST (G)

 

Delonte "Muthafuckin" West (Get it) completes the starting line up of ugly dudes.  I don't know if that red shit around his mouth is an untreated herpes sore or Lebrons mommas lipstick.  Either or this dirty fuck needs Jezus.




Jay's Favorite Crack Heads

GATOR

(Jungle Fever)

Lucinda Purify: What happened to the color TV?
Gator Purify: Mama, I smoked the color TV!

Gator made being a crackhead entertaining.  Right until the good Reverend doctor shot him in the gut with a .38. 

Gator Purify: I swear before God... and four more white people! This
is the last time!

Quotes like this is what make me appreciate a good dope fiend.  Check out one of my favorite clips

For the record, Hallie Berry was a sexy hype.  I think I would of paid $10 to smash her

I'll do it!!! You know I'll do it!!!

CHECK OUT THIS CLIP

Pookie

(New Jack City)

Chris Rock made people shed a tear for his pipe-head ass in New Jack City.  When he became a crack head in the movie, you could almost smell his dirty ass through the screen.  Too bad his relapse caused him to get shot in the chest..... RIP Pookie.

“It just be calling me, man. Calling me.”)

Eddie King Jr

(Five Heartbeats)

"Can't nobody sang like Eddie King Jr."  When this dude approached the Heartbeats after their show, and did an improptu performance in front of them.  It was no doubt that he was a full blown crack head.

"just 'cause I have one...
two, maybe two drinks sometime...
What, I'm an alcoholic now" YES MUTHAFUCK  IT DOES MAKE YOU ONE

Menace II Society Crackhead

I don't even know if this dude had a name in Menace II Society other then "bass head", but this muthafucka gave people a firsthand look at the dark side of how crack heads get their money.

Not only was he about to sell some cold cheeseburgers on a hot summer day to O-Dog, but he offered to take a mouth shot for a rock.  This eventually led to a few gunshots to the chest.  Tough Break Cracky

Ezel

(Friday)

Ezel wasn't the best, but he was one of the funniest.  I really think that he should of made an appearance in the other Friday movie's.  Check out this classic Ezel moment

BUBBLES

(The Wire)

Unlike our previous crack heads, Bub's eventually got his shit together when The Wire ended.  He had all the attributes of a true junky.  From the skin abrasions, to snitching for a twenty dollar bill, Bubs was one of the best.

Jay's Favorite Nip Slips

1. Janet Jackson

Some people remember what they were doing when certain events in history happened.  Like 911, OJ in a Bronco, or Rodney King getting his ass beat.  Well I remember exactly what I was doing when Janet Jackson's right mammary made a cameo at Super Bowl XXXVIII.  America was not ready for Lil Penny's nipple to grace there TV screens.  They acted like this was the worst thing on television. They had news reporters calling it shit Nipple Gate and shit.  Alright, So it's ok to show Saddam Hussein dead ass kids on television, but it's wrong for Justin Timberlake to show people a beautiful 40 year old titty. #SMH  TP GIVES THIS A 9.0 RATING

2. Tara Reid

Not really my favorite, but this was one of the funniest wardrobe malfunctions of all time.  Fresh off of a boob job, Mrs. Reids entire left titty popped out on the red carpet.  Her titty was so fake and lifeless, she didn't even realize it was hanging out.  Her nipple looked the plastic surgeon cut it off, let 3 hamsters chew on it for about 5 min, then attached it back to her breast meat. TP GIVES THIS A 3.5 RATING

3. Nicki Minaj

I'll be the first to admit I'm not a big Nicki Minaj fan, but on that one glorious day, when her lil chocolate nip walked into my life, she got my stamp of approval.  Even though it happened right around the time her boyfriend "allegedly" gave her a two piece and a biscuit.  I was still very impressed with the size, color, and overall presentation of her nipple. TP GIVES THIS A 9.5 RATING

4. Kelly Rowland

Nothing much to say about this one.  I'm really starting to believe that fake titty's have no feeling in them at all.  Her titty was hanging out for most of her performance and she didn't realize it.  Oh well.....made my night. TP GIVES THIS A 8.0 RATING

5.  Nicole Scherzinger

Allot of people are sleep on this one, but I'm not.  When this Pussy Cat Doll Left titty popped off stage, I instantly became a fan.  She is a perfect mix of Filipino, Hawaiian and Russian.  I remember when I saw the footage I was so thrown off by it that I text my mom and asked if she had a chance to see it.  TP GIVES THIS A 9.5 RATING

CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE FOR MY LATEST MOVE SHOTS FIRED

www.shotsfiredmovie.com

OFFICIAL SHOTS FIRED TRAILER

J Davis Productions / Quiet Island Productions
Written / Produced By: Jay Davis

The 1st single off of the Shots Fired Soundtrack - Shots - By Coriz TheWrita, T.R.O.Y, Prince Ghost, and Velle Vell

Shots Fired is an action/comedy about two totally opposite detectives, who are forced to become partners and work the biggest case of their careers. Kevin Payne, an overly aggressive, burned out, thrill-seeker, has cost the city millions in damages as a result of his heroics. Marcus Banks, a weed-smoking, self-hating alcoholic who not only has gotten his captain / uncle reprimanded on several occasions, but his fellow officers shot while on duty. Both of these men have different values and agendas, but they have to somehow coincide in order to solve the murder of world renowned scientist John Mangenelli Sr. Shots Fired is a non-stop action/ comedy that will leave people at the edge of their seats.

Premiering at the Portage Theater May 19th 2012

www.shotsfiredmovie.com

TICKETS AVAILABLE ON SHOWCLIX.COM APRIL 2ND

HURRY UP AND DIE!!!!

The following people have made my "HURRY UP AND DIE LIST!!!

1. Fantasia  - Besides being a glorified bust down, Fantasia has managed to be at the top of my list.  It's not because she fucked a married man, got pregnant, had an abortion, then got pregnant again by the same person.  It's not even because she called R.Kelly disrespectful for not performing at a concert that he was not going to get paid for.  The reason I want to punch her in the jaw is because she looks like Dudley's dad.  He bogus for letting Dudley get fingered by the creepy bike shop owner.

 2. Soulja Boy - Soulja Boy''s music is H.I.V in audio form.  This nigga is beyond lousy.  I don't wish death on nobody, but if his tour bus happened to get shot up and set on fire while he was on it.......I would write another blog stating that I was bullshitting about not wishing death on this man '

3. Ray J - "If I had one wish, I'd shoot you in the head, fuck Brandy in your bed...." This is the modern day Jessie Jackson.  The Undisputed Attention Whore Champion.  because of this waste of life, the Kardashians became relevant (FUCK the Kardashians to).  At one point in his life, he is going to realized that his pops should of just shot one in his mothers face instead of getting her pregnant.

 CHECK OUT THE SECOND SINGLE OFF THE SHOTS FIRED SOUND TRACK. MARS - CORIZ THEWRITA FT. FMILLS

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

TBN - Tough Break Nigga!!: Rappers Who I Want to See Make a Comeback

TBN - Tough Break Nigga!!: Rappers Who I Want to See Make a Comeback: With all this wack shit on the radio, why can't some of the cats from the 90's make a come back....I'm just saying Silk The Shocker ...

Rappers Who I Want to See Make a Comeback

With all this wack shit on the radio, why can't some of the cats from the 90's make a come back....I'm just saying

Silk The Shocker

What ever happened to the Best Worst Nigga on No Limit.

Domino

You can't tell me that this dude wasn't dope for at least 4 months.  Ghetto Jam was the SHIT!!!! I'm sure he has a nice stable job at a currency exchange somewhere in LA now

AMG

"Ain't nothing like black pussy on my dick, word to the muthafuckin DJ Quik".  Bitch Betta Have my Money is still one of the greatest pimp anthems of all time.  AMG where the fuck you at?  He was suppose to have an album out in 2007, but one of his homie's leaked it.  #fuckfriends

MC EIHT

This is like my 3rd West Coast cat.  You have to admit that the west coast was shittin on people for a while.  People could still bang Straight of Menace and not feel bad about there life.

MC Brains

When you think of one hit Wonders this niggas name better come up in the conversation....Unless you considered his other song Brain Storming a hit....

Skee Lo
He represented for all the short muthafuckas in the world with his song I Wish.  The song was a hit, but I bet he wishes that his career was a little bit longer.  He probably works at Best Buy

Women I Always Wanted to Smash!!!

Here is a list of all the women that I have to sleep with before I die DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

#1 Maria from Seaseme Street

I don't have a puppet fetish, but Maria looked good has hell on that damn show.  She was smart, sexy, and Hispanic.  I would of put a bullet in Elmo's head to get closer to her.

#2 Vicki from Small Wonder

Once again don't judge me.  This show was the shit when I was a kid.  I remember being happy in my pants everytime she came out of the closet.  I know one thing, if I was that lil boy, and she was suppose to be my robot sister.  I would of fucked the shit out of her mechanical ass.

#3 Dee from What's Happening

Not the cutiest on my list, but something about that fucked up bun on her head made me wonna smash when I was a lil kid.  She you use to be like "I'm tell mama." I would say to myself, "You better tell mama that I gave you this DICK!!!"

#4 Rosie Perez

Once again, I am a sucker for big brown nips.  I remember when I first seen White Men Can't Jump and that brown aereola popped out from her shirt.  I was in utter shock and disbelief.  I'm like "Does she know that her titty is exposed in this movie"

#5 Topanga from Boy Meets World

I don't know what it is about Topanga.....Fucked that!  She had some nice dick sucking lips (in my Nas voice)  That's what did it for me back in the day. 

Thanks for reading my latest blog.  Check out Sexual Harassment III ft. Raydio G



Jay's Top 5 Porn Stars

Jay's Top 5 Porn Stars

#1 Havana Ginger
I don't know if its her fondness for anal or her big brown nips, but this sexy muthafucka can get it.

#2 Janet Jacme
An oldie but goodie.  I love the golden age of porn.  She had the best bush in the game.  I just hate that she looked like one of my aunts #fml

#3 Amber Easton
By far the sexiest on the list.  I would be proud to put baby batter on her back any day

#4 Jada Fire
Again, I am a sucker for big brown nipples, and Jada is the queen of that.  Her nips look like McDonald's sausage patties

#5 Bridget the Midget
First off don't judge me. Little people are sexy to. Until you give a little person a face shot, and tell her to call you Mr. Wonka, you can't say shit to me about sleeping with one

Honorable Mentions Pinky
She would of been higher on my list, but when I heard rumors about her having AIDS it kinda fucked me up.  True or not, that type of shit makes my penis soft.

Twitter: @jdavistp
Facebook: Jay Davis Tp
YouTube: www.youtube.com/j25davis

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BAD DATES II